Isang taon na pala

Last year, July din noon, we had one of our saddest times. Our Tatay passed away. Ngayon, ambilis ng panahon, isang taon na pala siyang nasa piling ni Lord. I can still recall nong time na malagutan siya ng hininga, I was holding him, that day, I wished I could have done something. Hinde kami makapaniwala non kase it was so fast, parang yesterday lang he was still there, then the next day he's gone. I missed Tatay, napaka-cool niya, palabiro, palatawa kahit isa na lang ang ngipen nya sa harap :)... at sobrang sarap magluto. Naaalala ko tuloy ang tinuto niya (our version of LAING), sooobrang yummy!

Losing someone so dear is so hard to bear...especially if he's someone you look up to, someone na minahal mo ng mahabang panahon. But come to think of it, isa lang akong apo...nakakalungkot na para saken...paano pa ang lungkot na nararamdaman ng isang asawa. Si Nanay, alam namen kahit iniwan na siya ni Tatay, hinde niya nakakalimutan kausapin ang asawa niya, kahit sa panaginip, alam namen nagkikita sila. We often hear her call his name, "Tatay, tatay, hintayin mo naman ko..."

Nung time na may saket ang Nanay, si Tatay ang nag-alaga sa kanya, (Nanay has Parkinson's disease, so she can hardly walk, move and do things a normal person can do, besides that, she got other complications). Tatay was her nurse all those times. We never even thought na me saket na pala ang Tatay, hinde siya nagsasabi. He just kept it to himself...so as to stay strong for Nanay. Perhaps that's how much he loved him, hinde na baleng nahihirapan siya, basta't naalagaan niya ang kanyang asawa. When Tatay was in the hospital, he kept asking about Nanay, he even wanted his sons to go home to look after Nanay and don't mind him. That's how selfless Tatay was.

A day before Tatay died, Nanay woke up looking for him..sabi niya, "Asan na si Tatay, asan na 'yong pagkain na inaabot niya kanina. Andito na siya e, pinapakain na ako." No one answered, we felt goosebumps hoping that what she said was not some kind of a premonition. Then we just told her, "Nananaginip ka lang Nay." That time, Tatay was lying in the hospital bed, weak, exhausted...patuloy na lumalaban para madagdagan pa ang buhay, siguro para makita pa uli ang Nanay (at kahit sa huling sandali, we knew, dinalaw niya si Nanay kahit sa panaginip lang). The next day, Tatay was already struggling over death, sa mga sangkatutak na suwero at needles na nakaturok sa kanya, sa mga nurses na nagpapakalma sa kanya tuwing aatakehin siya at ita-try siyang i-revive ulet, he was so eager to fight, but his body and heart won't.

Every moment was dreadful, every second was uncertain, but we knew, everything was going to end somehow. When he calmed down after having a shot of a tranquilizer, time felt so slow as if we're in a twilight. Pinikit niya na ang mga mata niya at natulog, hinde namen alam na yon ang huling pagkakataon na makikita namen siyang gising. While in my arms, I saw tears from his eyes, looking somewhere far, then he closed them. After a while, Tatay had his last gasp.
God must have the best reason why He have to take him away from us, we don't know, all we know is that Tatay was already freed from pains and afflictions.

But the hardest part was...paano sasabihin kay Nanay.

It took us some time para masabi kay Nanay, we had to be careful dahil baka hinde niya kayanin, baka sumunod siya ng 'di oras. Until the time she knew about it, she mourned. But God was great, He never left Nanay in her pains, grief and loss.

Ngayon, isang taon na...okay na ang Nanay...at alam namen okay na din si Tatay. At kahit na nagkahiwalay man sila, hinde nawawala ang pagmamahal nila sa isa't isa. Their love story is endless, pure and full of compassion...not even death can tear them apart.


Love you Tay! Andito na ang sasakyan...papunta na kami dyan. :)