Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Morning surprise
It's Wednesday. A different day but I know same old crap's ahead of me.
I was a little angry bago pa lang ako pumasok. Something went wrong that made me feel it's not a good day and I'm not really in the mood for work or even going to the office. But still I got up, did my usual morning routine and went off to work.
Pagdating ng office, first things first, coffee and yosi. Then Facebook na syempre.
I saw something that made my day gloomier, as if the sun's already set as early as 7:00 am.
It's been 5 months, haven't seen my ex-boyfriend personally or even in pictures. Suddenly I saw him in a friend's album uploaded on Facebook.
"Para akong binuhusan ng tubig na may yelo. Chills, in a second, saddened me."
He's still the same, except that he's become bigger, siguro nagwo-work out. I don't know, I'm not sure, maybe not seeing a person that long makes you look at him differently. He looks happy. He's hanging out with his college friends.
He looks a lot better.
My eyes were teary, my heart beat went faster...but my senses went really really slow.
Again, for countless times, I felt numb.
It's not that I'm sad kase nakita ko masaya siya. Hinde ko alam why I felt sad. Maybe because ngayon ko lang ulet siya nakita. Ngayon ko lang ulet nakita yong ngite niya, na dati araw araw kong nakikita.
Siguro kase naisip ko sana kasama ko rin siya.
Pero tapos na 'yon.
The waters between us are blurry. And it has already passed. Our love was like a flowing water, it was once clear and full of life, then it moved rapidly out of control, making us realize, this water's already drifting us apart. Hanggang sa hinde na namin mahabol ang tubig na nag-uugnay sa'men noon...
...naagos na siya ng tuluyan, hinde na bumalik.
I'm facing a day na hinde ko alam paano matatapos nor paano sisimulan. Well, yes, I started it with writing how I feel. But will it change every second, minute and hours I still have to deal with? I don't know.
Minsan...ang isang bagay na nasira na...mahirap na talaga ma-solusyunan pa.
Parang ang araw ko ngayon.
At parang ang love namen noon.
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4 comments:
hmm... kung ang tubig nga sa kanal ang hirap habulin kapag dumaloy galing sa naglalaba, yan pa kayang tubig na walang daluyan ;)) antayin mo na lang bumaha, don magsstay ang tubig!
haaayyyy grace...im so sad today. as in really sad.:(
bes, the reason why you are sad coz you're stll hoping though you can tell na hindi na! i dont think so! sad ka coz u saw him happy kahit pic lang! it makes u sad...coz of his smile...the happy times...love is everywhere. somtimes u dont need to be inlove with somebody for the sake to be happy. learn first to love yourself bes then ul find true love ul be happy.nakakapagod din ang magmahal kasi paulit ulit ka nyang sasaktan pero ikaw nandun k pa din...paulit ulit kang iiyak pero mahal mo pa din...sya ba ganun din? he did let you go...dahil ayaw nyang magpaliwanag sayo...dont wnt to explain things further for u to understand more. dont waste ur day or time thinking of him coz he's not thinkng of you..lam k mahirap gawin but sometimes u have to let it go! ur pretty, young and intelligent..dont waste it! luv u...di man tayo nagkikta...u know im here always! smile=)
thanx bes, love you too. :) haayyy...it's sad that i loved someone so much and now it hurts so bad. when will it be my one last cry? lagi na lang akong one last cry...again and again!
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