Moving on...

Last weekend, I had a li’l chat with one of my closest friends. She asked me,"how did you manage to move on after a bad break up (for the nth time!!!)???"

Sabi ko…wala lang…siguro I just accepted the HUGE fact, na wala na talagang mangyayari pa. And syempre sa tulong na rin ng mga friends ko (like mga 2 or 3 sila hehehehe joke…madami syempre) na laging paulit-ulit na lang ang sinasabi, “ tama na kase, awat na, tigilan na!” at "nuknukan ka na ng TANGA!", kulang na lang mag-rally sila at magdala ng placards sa harap ko at isampal saken para matauhan ako. And siguro dahil na rin sa walang katapusang scenario nang pagbabalikan at paghihiwalay, namanhid na ko. It was not as painful as the past break-ups.

Mas nakaya ko na’to, mas na-keri ko na.

Pero hinde pa rin naman ganon kadali, there were still times na iiyak na lang akong parang tanga, kase nakarinig lang ako ng lovesong, ayun! Bumigay na ang ‘sang galong luha! Then I’ll just tell myself, ang hirap pa rin i-conceal, no matter how much you try to hide it…it’ll still come out. Sabi nga nila Grace at Teng, iiyak mo na nang iiyak…mapapagod ka din. Pag napagod ka, yon na yon! At yon na siguro yong sinasabi nila…ito na siguro yon…yung time na napagod na ko, yung time na nag-decide na kong ayoko na malungkot.

Those were the things I told her. And I think nakatulong na din naman ako kahit papaano. I know she’s into something similar to what I went through, hinde man ganon kalalim, pero pareho lang…me usaping puso at pagmomove on.

Sabi niya hinde niya lang daw alam kung paano sisimulan. Ako hinde ko na inalam noon when and where to start…I just woke up and I said…

I’m doing this for myself, I am tired, its unfair and I’ll be fine.

Tapang-tapangan, saya-sayahan, maang-maangan sa mga nangyari…parang wala lang…yan ang naging ako after I decided to stop that miserable life.

But those were also the times when I hated being alone, I hated listening to songs, I hated guys, I hated going to malls, I hated seeing couples…I’ve become a hater.

Isa lang ang naging karamay ko lagi no'n, alak, yosi at Facebook.

Pero that alcohol thing, hinde ko yon inadvice sa friend ko syempre. Hehehe…